Trip to Japan Part I

Well by now I'm sure most of you have despaired of me ever updating my blog at all. (I'm with you there.) I suppose my only excuse can be that I really dislike writing about myself and so it takes me a lot of work to get motivated to write here.

Of course once I get started the words start flowing and it's all good but really it's frustrating that I've left y'all hanging while I try to work myself up to writing about my trip so far. Well okay, now that I've groveled sufficiently, let's get back to what you're actually interested in hearing about.

JAPAN （日本）

 All right so I'm going to just start at the beginning, which of course means dragging two giant suitcases as close to the 50 pound limit as possible and also lugging about two carry-ons that are as close to the 25 pound limit as possible. Once I arrived at Portland Int'l Airport, I shuffled over to an airplane and flew to LA, the first leg of a journey that would end up taking about 24 hours all told.

Once I landed in LA, my ~40 pounds worth of carry-ons and I had to make our way across the airport and make our way to the international terminal in LA, which just so happens to be waaaaaay at the opposite end from the domestic departures. Ugh. So after walking the equivalent of about four city blocks in the sun with about forty pounds' worth of unwieldy luggage, I managed to check into Korean Airlines and made my way through a second security checkpoint. I did this because I had mistakenly read the clock as being an hour ahead and thought my flight would be boarding in about twenty minutes. Once I reached my gate I realized that the plane would actually be boarding in about seventy minutes. (it took me 10 minutes to find the gate). Well. Unfortunately all the restaurants were on the OTHER side of the security checkpoint, and I had not yet eaten food that morning. (though I had managed to get a cup of tea).

the security checkpoint had also gained a large line and being the paranoid person I am, in addition to my extreme aversion to spending time with the TSA, I decided to just sit there and eat some oranges and beef jerky that mom had sent with me. (I discovered that you could take oranges with you through a security checkpoint after a Model United Nations conference in new york that began with me trying desperately to foist off my oranges before we had to get to the airport, only to discover that I needn't have worried and the oranges did not have to be tossed in the trash)

So I was thinking to myself, okay, let's just read one of the books you bought from the Powell's in the airport, and as I'd never read the Great Gatsby and it had been on sale I figured it was worth a shot. (Note: unless you find yourself with the time to really consider the implications and messages presented in The Great Gatsby, don't read it. It's just a frustrating realistic/true-to-life story about dysfunctional people who suffer because of their own actions and attitudes. Ew. Where is the sci-fi, I ask you! Where is it???)

Anyway as most of you probably know I abhor with deep loathing being watched by people and thus I was not at all impressed by the fact that the people at my gate were sitting around while I was there (no, they were not actually staring but it feels that way so bluh). Since people were there and any odd movement had a high likelihood of drawing stares it took me awhile to finally work up the courage to go fill my water bottle. (I told you I don't like people staring. It's true. I would almost rather dehydrate than be watched going to find a water fountain.)

Anyway by the time i got back, korean airlines was apologizing because  the flight was delayed. Which meant I'd really had the time to go get food from the airport had I so desired. But now of course I was paranoid because I wasn't sure when the plane was going to arrive so did I go look for food? no.

(but that's okay  because the flight to Seoul served two meals)

Annnnd tragically I must take my leave here in order to go to class, but I will continue the airplane story in my next post and then eventually catch up to the madness and stress and also fun and excitement that is Japan.

Until then!

The One About Body Image

Oh dear, seems like everyone has something to say about this topic, don't they? Well now it's my turn. *cue dramatic music*
...
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...
Okay, since my sound engineer quit because I forgot to pay him, we have no dramatic music. So we'll just settle for a few gasps of surprise. *cue horrified gasps*
...
...well since I'm the only one here, I guess I'll just gasp and ask you to gasp along. Don't be afraid of looking like a fish out of water, it's for the good of interactive reading!

Well all right, that was a pretty good horrified gasp. Try and put a little more emotion into that inhale next time, but it'll do for the moment. Now where was I? Oh yes... body image.
*cue horrified gasps*

This is a topic people seem to have a lot of opinions about. And even I myself used to say things like "I don't understand [insert name/random passerby/whoever here], they're so pretty. How can they be so insecure about [insert random physical characteristic here] when they look so good?"

I've started to shy away from that though, because I've begun to see in myself how there is much more to body image than just how you actually look. Body image is about your own perception of yourself, and as the old saying goes: "you are your own worst critic."

Let's take myself as an example. It makes sense, since this is my blog. (haha, see how I managed to grammatically include both 'since' and 'sense' in the same sentence? I love being a nerd...) Recently, I've had the unfortunate displeasure of a horrid outbreak of adult acne. I never really had acne even through high school, and the only time I "washed" my face was when shampoo got on it in the shower. So when this acne decided to interrupt my life about midway through 2010, I did my best to ignore it. Unfortunately, acne doesn't take that attitude well, and I've spent the last few years figuring out how to deal with these pimples that seem to have taken up permanent residence on my face.

While I can keep them somewhat under control, using makeup only exacerbates the condition, which means if I try to cover up the existing acne I will only be creating more acne. Talk about unhelpful. So I've learned to cope and wash my face twice a day and use toners and anti-acne moisturizers and all those other things that I didn't even know existed before suddenly they became essential. From what I understand, my acne is caused by stress. Which basically means my life gives me acne, because when was the last time going to school away from your family wasn't stressful?

But I'm not writing this to complain about my acne. (Okay, maybe I am, a little.) What I didn't realize was how much acne would affect my self-esteem. (woo-hoo! another hot-button topic! I'm just throwing these words around like confetti!)

See, before my acne, I'd considered my face my best feature. I've never been particularly skinny, and in a world where supermodels are practically all anorexic and it's a cardinal sin to have an above-average BMI (I'm within the healthy weight range, but I'm nowhere near skinny), I'd found that the best way for me to feel beautiful was to "rest in the knowledge" that I had a nice face.

Cue acne. Suddenly, I felt like everything beautiful about myself was gone. I'm still not skinny and probably never will be. But now I also had a face with puffy red marks on it that wouldn't go away. How was I supposed to live like that? Some days, even if the acne's bad, I still feel okay. Other days I just want to wear a Burqa (or a giant burlap sack over my head) and be done with it.

And it's funny, because every morning when I look in the mirror, I have a different idea about myself. Some days, I look at myself and think "Oh hey, you don't look half bad. You have a nice body shape, even if you're not a twig." And other times I look in the mirror and have to walk away, because all I can see is this hideous thing staring back at me. And there's no real rhyme or reason to it. I suspect it's part hormones, part sleep deprivation, and part moods in general.

Thinking back, I realize it's always been this way. And I suspect I'm not the only one. Why do we as people place so much value in the physical? Because it can be seen and heard and felt. But what amazes me is how little value we place on the spiritual. Ultimately, the one who made us, God, knows us best.

And he loves us. Even in our sin: weakness, selfishness, foolish pride, and so much more, he still continues to love us dearly. And in his eyes, we are exactly what he made us to be. God doesn't want cardboard cutouts, so why should we? Our culture places so much pressure on men and women to conform to  "ideals" that have no place in God's kingdom. What a blessing to know that when I get to heaven, I won't ever wake up, look in the mirror, and think "Ugh, I'm hideous."

Instead, each day, I'll wake to the sound of an angel choir (singing perfectly and in perfect harmony -- how fantastic does THAT sound?), and when I look in the mirror, I will see a perfect and holy child of God.

Somehow, this vision gives whole new meaning to that verse in 1 Corinthians.  Specifically that verse that says "now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face-to-face." It's such a beautiful thought. (Even better that this verse begins the wrap-up of 1 Cor. 13, otherwise known as "the Love chapter".) God knows and loves us, and when we have been made perfect in him, when we reach heaven, we'll see ourselves the way we were always made to be. And I don't know if that means I'll be skinny or just that my size won't make people see me as someone headed down a diabetic path, but I know that it will be beautiful, and more wonderful than I can possibly imagine right now.

That last bit of 1 Corinthians 13 gets me every time, so I'll put it here in case you don't know it:


¹⁰ But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. ¹² For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
¹³ And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
  
It just makes me want to cry in happiness. "When I was a child...I understood as a child". All these physical characteristics we put so much stock in here on Earth are truly childish things! When we become the people God calls us to be, we will put aside foolish things. (Now I'm not saying we shouldn't be healthy, our body is a temple of the Lord's. I'm just saying that starving the body or running it into the ground is no better than overfeeding it and never exercising.) 

"Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known." There's something truly beautiful about this picture. Right now, we can catch little glimpses of the beautiful person God's made us to be, broken and cursed as we are by our sin. But one day, we will know as we also are known. When God looks at us, he doesn't see the flaws, he sees us as we will be. He sees us, covered with Christ's blood, his beautiful child who is reborn, redeemed. And he thinks we're beautiful. One day, we too will know the beauty in us that God already knows.

I guess that's what it boils down to. I hate myself some days. I hate my body some days. I hate my sin when I'm not in the act. (which happens more than I'd like to admit)

But God? He loves me. He loves every last piece of me. He sees me as I should be, not broken and destroyed by this cruel, sinful world.

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three;

but the greatest of these...

is Love.

I write, just not here

SO I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON... and not just because I'm inherently sinful (though I'm sure that has something to do with all this madness).

I can't seem to keep myself accountable with much of anything. I don't write regularly, I don't exercise regularly, I don't eat regularly, I don't blog regularly, I don't even do my homework regularly (I tend to put it off to the last minute and then beat myself up for not doing it sooner)!

So. Hello again. It's been too long. (No seriously though, the last time I blogged was before Christmas, right? So it's been more than two months.)

Why am I writing today, then? Because I'm on caffiene and can't bring myself to write fiction so I thought I'd post here.

To be more accurate, I've been looking at my stories and having fun picking them apart and realizing how terrible I am and crying with happiness at the tiny pieces of gold I sopmehow managed to eke out of my writing. I live for the day I actually manage to write something valuable, as currently I'm pretty much just writing stuff that barfs out of my brain and onto a page. Yes. Basically my stories begin with a "stream-of-consciousness-oh-hey-lets-just-vomit-on-a-page-until-something-makes-sense" sort of aesthetic. they then graduate to "this is total crap" and eventually reach the pinnacle of "I just need to re-write this whole thing and start over". That's pretty much where I've been for years now.

Someday I hope to write something that reaches out and grabs the reader and wrenches hearts and makes a difference. In the meantime I find the little chunks of my work that keep me going amidst the "GAH THAT IS SO CLICHE WHY" and the "WHY DIDN'T I THINK THIS THROUGH" or the ever-famous "Wait, why are you doing that, character? I thought you were doing this...?"

Novel writing is murder. So are short stories, mostly because it's hard for me to develop a concept that can be effectively portrayed in 5,000 or so words. 50,000 words or more tends to come easier (if longer), though I'm beginning to suspect that part of that is my inability to utilize an economy of words. But yeah, an abundance of plot and too many characters probably help that along.

But today, instead of talking about my life and everything that has been happening (or not happening, or trying to happen), I'm going to talk about my stories. Because despite the endless hours of pain and frustration they cause, I actually love them all dearly. Specifically, there are parts of each story I've written that just make me happy to be a writer: when I feel I've captured the emotion, when I write a fantastic fight scene, when characters interact in a realistic way... there are so many moments I adore.

So I'll share a few of my favorite with you. Let's start with some of my older stuff, and work my way up:

 1. from the story tentatively titled Rise of Invectus (I rarely 100% decide on a title).

“Yeah! What he said!” I cried, whirling on baldy. Why was he yelling at me anyway? I was hungry, tired, sore, and extremely confused. Honestly, I wanted my mother, and I wasn’t ashamed to say so.  “Get my mom in here and leave me alone!” I screamed, sitting straight up. The restraining straps around my chest and stomach snapped. I glanced down, staring at the bands in shock. A moment later, I felt the burning sensation on my skin where I’d shoved against them, and my muscles twinged painfully. So that’s why I hurt, I thought to myself. Then I frowned. How did I do that?

 So basically we've got a kid who was infected with a virus that gives him super-strength, but it's involuntary. It only flares up when he's angry. But unlike the Hulk, he doesn't turn into a big green rage monster. So at least we've got a little bit of originality. This bit was written about two to three years ago (hard to pinpoint exactly as the document was viewed and edited for typos recently)

2. Another excerpt, from Cyborg Wars - Book 1: Soldier (again, tentative title for both series and book)

For nearly six hundred years, the bold and proud Laham’rhi family had ruled the planet Gaal’ver’diitron from the great imperial city of Gaal’lyn. Wars, famine, constant flooding and poor soil had done little to shake the foundations of these proud rulers, and nothing could take the people of Gaal’ver’diitron from their home among the stars.

I like this excerpt because you kind of get the sense that this family whose name people can't pronounce (I can, but I'm the author, so that makes me exempt from this) rule a planet with a name that you also can't pronounce. Yet despite these unfamiliar words, the concepts of "pride" "strength" and "determination" are universal concepts that ring true with me (and hopefully others), creating a sense of familiarity despite the strange names. You can feel the struggle of these people and you're already rooting for them, even if you can't pronounce their names. This was probably written about a year ago.

3. This bit comes from The Academy Chronicles - Book 1: LX-2, one of my most recent stories. It's a bit long, but I really love it.

Squirt and Jayden exchanged glances again before deciding to make their escape. “Well, I think I’m going to go play some more video games,” Jayden said, gathering up his food tray.
“I’m going to go… not be here,” Squirt said. “You two look like you have a lot to talk about.” He too left with his tray, leaving Matt and I sitting and staring at each other.
“So, when I said bruise collection, I didn’t mean it in a life-threatening way. More like a ‘clumsy so I fall down a lot’ way,” I said softly.
“No, Alex.” Matt looked me in the eye. “You meant it in a ‘Scott freaking beats the crap out of me on a regular basis and you can’t do anything to fix it’ way.”
I looked away. “I’m not blaming you.”
“I don’t care,” Matt said. “I’m blaming me.”
I didn’t know what to say. I never know what to say. Staring down at my food, I pushed it around my plate a few times before taking a bite to avoid answering him.
Sighing, Matt grabbed his tray and stood. “I’m going to work out,” he said, leaving abruptly.
I pushed my food around my plate a little more, knowing that he’d be late to bed because one of the supes would find him in the gym with a punching bag and bleeding knuckles, and send him to the med center. I hated knowing that he was so angry because of me. I hated that these self-destructive acts were my fault. And some days, when I had the energy, I would contemplate the irony of Matt blaming himself for my injuries even as I blamed myself for his.

In this excerpt, we've got two friends and two brothers. The younger brother is being bullied, and the older brother feels responsible for it, even though he can't really do anything about it. The awkwardness of the two friends trying to give the brothers a chance to discuss, the tension in how the two brothers relate to each other and how they talk about the bullying, and the internal turmoil the main character feels, the guilt that his brother hurts himself because he can't help... I just really like the tension and awkwardness and unspoken pain that builds this scene and it's probably one of my favorite scenes. I'd say it's the best I've ever written, but I don't know that. Other people might hate it. I personally just love this scene and everything that goes unsaid along with what is said.

So yeah.

I've been having fun with my stories lately. And writing makes me happy. When it doesn't eat me alive and demand answers for why I haven't been doing it more frequently.

Anywho. Here's my lovely update, that technically hasn't told you anything at all about what's going on with me or where I'm going. More babbling to follow, I hope. Because otherwise my next blog post will also open with "I AM SUCH A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING," or something to that effect.

In the meantime, enjoy my post and don't be too quick to judge my writing inabilities. I'm still learning. and growing. (I hope).

And you thought I'd waited too long last time! That'll Show Ya!

Hey guess what?
Summer's over. Fall quarter's nearly over. And I haven't posted one word.

I wish I could say it's because I've been so busy, but mostly it's because I hate writing about myself when I could be writing fantastical fiction.

So yeah. Sorry.

So much has happened that I have to give a quick summary:

• Looks like I'll be studying abroad at Kobe University this Spring/Summer
• I loved my summer job, though the loneliness was tough
• I want to look into more tourism/museum jobs because I loved it so much
• I would also like to work at an embassy or consulate at some point to see what it's like
• I want to also potentially give tutoring in english to Japanese, but that could probably happen while I am actually in Japan
• My classes ate me alive through the first half of the quarter, though things are finally starting to look up
• Fourth-Year Japanese is impossible to 4.0, even if you're a Developmental Bilingual in Japanese, who one of the people in my class is. (Developmental Bilingual means that you grew up speaking two languages, in this case English and Japanese)
• I am hopefully not failing fourth-year, but the jury's still out on that one
• I won't be able to take fourth-year next quarter so I'll be making my own little Japanese study based vaguely on what we've been doing in class this quarter.
• I do, however, love my fourth-year Japanese prof. She's great. And nicer than third year's prof. I had the best TA ever for third year though, which made life tolerable.
• I am sort of keeping my life under control, though the same cannot be said for my desk space and bed.
• I have not had as much time to cook as I would like
• My best friend and another really good friend are up here in Seattle with me now and it makes my heart sing.
• I wish I had more time to write. I would threaten to do the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, where you aspire to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November), but it's already the 19th and well, no. It's not going to happen.
• I finally showed someone besides myself one of my songs that I wrote the lyrics to and also came up with a tune. Now I just have to figure out how to guitar and keyboard and drum it (synthesizer?) and record myself  (and autotune so it sounds reasonable) and then possibly I will put it somewhere for people to hear.
• I have other songs. I would like to do something with them at one point but not now.
•  This is the most convoluted bullet point list ever because it's basically a stream-of-consciousness list at this point.
• I probably should have skipped the bullets, but it's too late now.
• I'm just glad I didn't number this list or things could have really gone south.
• ANYway.
• I can't think of anything else at the moment

So there you have it. My most recent post, in all its lameness. Sorry for the long wait, and I know this totally wasn't worth the wait. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, bloggy blog.

A Very Much Not At All Impressive Blog Post

Hey there bloggy blog! I'm back after a month at my summer job; I just got my first paycheck and I suddenly feel so rich even though it wasn't super impressive. I LOVE MY JOB. TO DEATH.

I'm working at a state heritage site in a small former gold-rush town where I lead people through a historic building and interpret the historical significance of the site to the visitors. I also get to tell stories, and be excited about history! (Which, as you may guess, is so hard for me to do.)

My boss is amazing, my coworkers are even more so, I get to work on developing a program for school kids in the fall, and I get to meet all sorts of interesting people and interact with original artifacts from 1866-1948 AND GET PAID TO DO IT.

Since I've only really ever done volunteer work, the opportunity to do all of this great stuff AND GET PAID TO DO IT is really tons awesome. 

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm kind of exhausted right now, brain dead. Partially from work, but mostly because I couldn't fall asleep last night. So this is a really lame blog post. I apologize for that.

This will probably be my shortest blog post ever. I am pretty exhausted...

So I guess I'm calling it. More on my awesome job of amazingness later...

It Has Been Years! (Only Not Really...)

It feels as though it's been years since I touched you, my dearest bloggy-blog, and so much has happened. Wow.  Where to start? I'm out of school now, first of all. Also, I can now reveal that I engaged in an amusing (if somewhat juvenile) prank with a good friend of mine, where we managed to convince most of our collective friends that we two were dating. (The fact that my best friend Kristi was on board served well - we never would have pulled it off without her backup.) Amusingly, my younger sister did not even find out about the fake "relationship" until the week before we called it off and told everyone the truth. So for most people it lasted a month, but for my silly and rather oblivious sister, the prank only lasted a week.

I must confess that I don't think I'll ever do anything of the sort again; lying to everyone really killed me inside and made me feel super guilty. I can't even really enjoy the prank, because it still sort of makes me feel a little bit sick inside.However, the resulting inside jokes that emerged between this good friend and I as a result of our false relationship make up for the ill feeling for the most part.

In addition, I have applied to the UW study abroad program. I'm hoping to be in Japan next summer. But what about this summer? What could possibly have me so busy that I have neglected my blog for such an extended period of time?

...A summer job. Yes, a summer job. Also a dying laptop. But more on that later. First: I am currently working for Oregon State Parks at a State Heritage Site as an Interpretive Intern, and I am thoroughly enjoying it thus far.  I love being able to take people around the site and tell them about the importance of the site and how it contributed to Oregon's heritage and history. On the downside, the heritage site is approximately 7 hours away from home, and so I have a summer far, far, away from all of my friends to anticipate. Additionally, I have no idea how I'm going to see "The Amazing Spider-Man" premier with my friends since I can't take any days off except for my weekends. Pardon me whilst I bawl, since I have been looking forward to this movie since I heard about it just under  a year ago when they started releasing production photos, etc.

Spider-man has always been my favorite Marvel super-hero (He's almost neck-in-neck with my all-time favorite superhero, a DC character known as Brainiac 5). I really love Spidey, and I really wanted to see this film with my friends. Movie premiers are no fun by yourself...

"The Amazing Spider-Man" premiers soon. It is much more
accurate to the comics than the last 3 Spider-Man movies.

This is Brainiac Five. He is awesome. And a Genius.
But mostly just awesome.

...Okay, now, where was I? Right. No movie premiers. Pehh. But hey, at least I got to see "The Avengers," which, while not yet including Spider-Man (Who DOES join the Avengers at one point, though he tends to be more  of a solo act), did have some other fun folks we met in a few other great Disney/Marvel flicks over the years. By "other fun folks" I mean:

Thor Odinsson,  "Norse God" and hammer-wielder with long golden locks that are usually 'creatively toussled' and/or greasy. An Avenger, and a good guy.

Brother of the adopted Loki, "Norse God" of mischief. Loki will get his own intro later.

Ironman, aka Tony Stark, main inventor and head of Stark Industries, though he did pass the reigns over to his childhood friend and girlfriend (fiance?), Pepper Potts. He invented the suit he wears and is quite a snarky character. He likes to go solo also, but does play a fun part in the team. Plus, because he's a self-declared "Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist," he's the one with the funds to keep a place for the Avengers to hang out when they aren't saving the world... or avenging it.

Captain America, the first avenger, named Steve Rogers. He is awesome and kind and heroic and almost too good to be real. He is also a super-soldier with strength, patriotism, and an awesome shield.  He lost the love of his life when he was buried in ice at the end of WWII and was cryogenically preserved until being dug out not too long before the Avengers started up.

From Lto R: The Incredible Hulk
(top left), Hawkeye (bottom left),
Ironman (front mid-left),
Nick Fury (mid back)
Black Widow (front mid),
Captain America (back right),
Thor (front right).

Along with a couple of other fun friends, namely the head honcho of the Avengers Initiative: Nick Fury the super spy, Hawkeye (Clint Barton), Black Widow (Natasha Romanoff), and the Incredible Hulk (Bruce Banner),  The Avengers band together to defeat the evil villain of the piece, who I still think deserves more credit and less blame then he tends to get in general circles. On the bright side, Tumblr seems to agree with me, so all of my geeky internet friends that I've never met in real life agree with me. And I've sort of managed to argue my best friend Kristi to at least admit that my point of view was tenable, though she's still mad that he killed some civilians. And I would probably be mad too, if the story were real... but it's not, so I am not mad at him and I think he's a great character with a lot of depth and fascination and I really hope that the writers of coming Avengers/Hero movies work with all the depth and interest in his character, rather than just going with the very two-dimensional "hurr hurr, I'm a bad guy and I'm evil and BOW TO ME and FEAR ME and DIE LIKE BUGS!"... because honestly, he would be a lot more fun to play with than that. But I'm not a screen writer. And if I were, I'd have a hard time not making the story TOO Loki-centric because he is just a fascinating character... but I haven't even gotten to him yet, so...

Loki Laufeyson/Odinsson "Norse God" of mischief and general chaos is the villain of the piece, wreaking havoc on Midgaard (aka Earth) mostly as a temper tantrum/general freak out because he's recently undergone intense emotional trauma, not to mention the fact that he's been hated and bullied for most of his life for what he thought was no reason. He only recently realized that he always felt different from his brother, family, and his brother's friends (he had no real friends of his own) because he actually was different. Not an Asgardian (a "norse god" like Odin, Frigga, Thor, Sif, etc), turns out Loki was actually a runt Jotunn or Frostgiant, the enemies of Asgard, that Odin brought back as a sort of insurance should the Frostgiants ever try to attack. Loki was raised as Odin's son, but since a peace accord was struck, Odin really had no use for Loki anymore, but continued to lead him on, acting as if he might actually have a chance to ascend to the throne. When Thor proved unworthy, Loki expected to recieve the throne, but did not, and this, coupled with the realization that he was actually "the monster people tell their children about at night," drove him mad and he went on a nutso rampage killing all of the frostgiants to prove that he was a true son of Odin (eep). He then went on to attempt suicide by falling into a black hole, but that failed and he ended up on Earth, where he decided if he couldn't rule in Asgaard he could at least rule in Midgaard. (I have no idea how to spell these words, forgive me for not attempting google).

So there we have it. Now, what was I talking about before I got off on a tangent? I guess it doesn't really matter. Unfortunately, my good friend Jirah has sort of developed a celebrity crush on the guy who plays Loki, and she is dragging me kicking and screaming down a similar path. In my defense, Tom Hiddleston (the guy who plays loki) is hysterically funny in his interviews, has a good sense of humor, is reportedly a really nice guy, and happens to play my favorite character in a superhero movie.

We all know I love superheroes.

But thus far I have resisted, though I did confess he would probably fit right in at a family reunion, his humor is almost identical to my dad's/brother's... I want him for a cousin. Because he has a funny velociraptor imitation, and is also really NOT self-conscious, which means he and my brother would probably end up having an awkward dance-off, or bad-joke-off, or something of the sort.

But again, I digress. And since I'm not yet posting half a dozen pictures of him, I have concluded that I just am being fed TOO MUCH INFORMATION, and unfortunately he's not like some movie stars who are stuck up and obnoxious and full of themselves in real life. If he were more like a politician it would be a lot easier to not celeb-crush... But I RESIST! I DOOOOOO!

Or I'm trying, anyway...

We shall see. Hopefully my next blog post isn't a celeb-crush post. That would probably make me cry, and then yell at Jirah for sending me all of those youtube videos and tumblr photos. Peh.

Writing, Writing, and... well, yeah.

Well. I have finally managed to get to the last item on my post I posted several months back about "not having time" to write at the moment. Well, I suppose I proved myself correct, to a certain extent. However, as the last bullet point on that list was "Writing Buddy," stating that I don't have time to write seems rather counter-intuitive.

That's me, counter-intuitive. I could blame it on the fact that I'm a woman, but it probably has more to do with the fact that I'm me. I guess it might be genetic, but it might just be something unique to my personhood. Or not. Anyway, on to what I was supposed to discuss, and that being my writing buddy. Or 'writing partner'. Though I prefer the term 'buddy.'

My awesome writing buddy and I have started writing some fiction together. I say 'some' not because we also write nonfiction, but because we both write our own fictional works in addition to this fictional work that we have begun writing together. However, I have noticed that having a writing buddy is extremely helpful for keeping a regular schedule for writing. In the past few months, we have written something around 12,000 words. Yes, 12,000. That's with a full-time school schedule, and also general busyness on both our parts. Needless to say, I don't get this much writing done on my other fiction. Which is something I have been lamenting lately.

She and I have thoroughly enjoyed writing together, and I also spent some time picking the brain of a close friend of mine for insight into how the male mind thinks. Not because I think that men and women are from different planets, but because I know that there are ways that men and women look at things that may not be as obvious to a member of the opposite gender. So that has been tons of fun.

On the downside, my fanfiction writing has taken the heaviest hit, I have not written a single chapter in any of my fics for months. Additionally, some of my stories are also suffering. I have, however, worked on editing one of my particularly favorite stories. And I am re-writing for the fourth time a story centered around a character that I first invented when I was 14 years old.  So kudos to me for sticking with my character. The classes I have been taking in school have all helped me develop these stories, and I am particularly fond of this character that I invented 5 years ago. The classes that have helped me the most with his story:

• International Relations
• I took this Political Science course last quarter, and it helped me develop a lot of the cultural systems and interactions between the planets, as well as setting me on a vague course for how and why the interplanetary war in this tale takes place. The story is about a young man who is a member of the ruling class of his society, and learns about how his planet and its culture is contrasted with other cultures of surrounding planets. There is a deep and somewhat painful history between their people and some of the other people groups. There are also some deep-seated prejudices towards different peoples, and it is interesting to see how different perspectives can affect how countries will interact. Huntington's "Clash of Civilizations" work was particularly interesting in this regard.
• Communication and Difference
• This is a class I am taking this quarter, and it explores the impact of Power and Privilege on people, and how denial and systems are set up in cultures in such a way that people often cannot even see their own privilege. It is an extremely eye-opening class, and it got me to thinking about the insecurities and stereotyping that is rampant in our society, and how that would carry over into cultures that are obsessed with genetic engineering and the physical representations of pure genetics. There is also the differing cultures of what is considered normal in which culture, and the differences in patriarchal societies, matriarchal societies, and perhaps societies with social structures that we don't have any comprehension of. It is interesting to develop cultures that dismiss some cultures as 'crude' simply because of how their culture has developed (ie: "You mean your people don't genetically engineer your children to have the best chances in life? How...interesting.").

And I guess that is all I want to talk about right now. I should really be studying for my Japanese test. Bah. How has Japanese helped my writing? Not really very well. It hasn't done much. My intro to linguistics course, on the other hand, has done wonders for helping me decide what I'm going to do to develop a distinct language for my "aliens." I'll probably recycle it for my fantasy stories, and then fans who read both my stories can have fun realizing that both languages work in the same way and use identical vocabulary. I think it might be kind of fun. Of course, if the Editor wants me to change it, I guess I won't have much of a choice...

In the meantime, I'll keep editing my story about genetically engineered orphans. Which actually has nothing to do with the above story, aside from the fact that they are both written by yours truly. Ha!

And now, to study...